“Let the Haters Hate”

Posted on 03.7.10
"Challenges", Metaphysical or Spiritual, Random
10 Comments

I’d like to share my first ever “hate mail” from InspirACTION (in response to this video post)

The post is from a few days ago when I met a social media friend, Meghann Conter, in person and really hit it off. We shared a message that expressed the changing reality of networking today which allows for unique experiences and networking opportunities like are experiencing. We also gave a challenge to viewers to extend their friendship to someone they don’t know via Facebook.

Here’s the message I received on Facebook:
Sender: ….you should be smacked for that video. You need to live a bit before you can suggest such crap.

Me: Dang don’t you think thats a bit strong? I think the video pretty much explains itself. Thanks for watchin

Sender: Not really. You are young and have yet to understand the world. And one day you’ll realize my word perhaps aren’t strong enough.

I decided to not respond any further to this person after the last message. I was fairly shocked and very offended between these two messages which came to me late before bed in the early morning.

I was amazed, I was thinking to myself, what’s this guys’ problem? I struggled to resist the temptation to message him back and really get into it with him. I’m thankful I just let it be when I did. I also found him slandering my name in a couple other places publicly as well and that almost sent me over the edge.

Here’s where it got really exciting for me J I’ve been listening to Wayne Dyers interpretation of the Tao te Ching called “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” and many of the verses reminded me of applicable lessons that resonate profoundly with this situation. While many versus within the Tao contain very relevant insights, I found this one to be spot on in every way. Keep in mind there are many interpretations and this is just one that is available online:

From the Tao te Ching – Verse 30

“Whoever relies on the Tao in governing men
doesn’t try to force issues
or defeat enemies by force of arms.
For every force there is a counterforce.
Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.

The Master does his job
and then stops.
He understands that the universe
is forever out of control,
and that trying to dominate events
goes against the current of the Tao.
Because he believes in himself,
he doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn’t need others’ approval.
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him.”

This verse works really well in a number of ways – and actually lines up with how I was able to calm down and let it go.

The first paragraph of the verse describes the use of violence and force. This is something I have been practicing and working on for years. Of course there are going to be altercations and interesting situations thrown at you in life, but even with the scuffles I can’t remember the last time I got into a real fight. For me, I’ve learned my lesson getting worked up and feeding into energy that’s horribly negative. How is it supposed to make me feel good after I beat somebody up or verbally and emotionally abuse them? These weapons are turned unto you in a karmic sense. Whether you believe in karma or not, you cannot deny the lingering negative emotions and thoughts that plague your mind after a highly charged event. We don’t need this energy in our lives. I’m really glad I found this verse after combing through the Tao to find it, because I believe it was buried subconsciously after hearing it two days ago. The same applies for the second paragraph.

The second part of this verse is the part that really drove it home for me that there was no need to argue or even interact with this person any further. I put together my video to share with people how social media can help build “real life” relationships with people even if it looks a little different these days This part of the Tao spoke to me in terms that I should never have to explain or justify my work or actions. They are my actions and they are my nature. I feel driven to do them and my goals and vision are mine to share. In this world we have the freedom to walk away, nobody can force you to listen or bend to their will. I strongly believe in what I do, but what is the rationale in forcibly defending it? Why does an idea need to be defended? It cannot die. They don’t have feelings haha

Its times like this where I smile and sort of laugh to myself. How silly I am to be so attached to this idea! Why do I care so much that this ONE PERSON has this opinion of me or my message? Definitely an ego thing but we won’t go there today.

On a functional level, I knew fighting back would just get me really worked up in the end. Obviously this guy was in a bad place when he wrote the message and it’s a waste to spend energy convincing people, they have to be convinced themselves. Secondly, I may let my work speak for itself. Besides, it’s obvious he didn’t watch the video LOL!

So that’s that, I hope you enjoy an incredible Sunday! I’ll have you know that some interesting things transpired overnight that made me grateful for taking a Tao centered approach.

The public comments this person made were deleted either by the owner’s walls or the sender himself.
I received some harsh criticism for the music video I’ve been promoting lately. Long story short my friends made it for fun and it’s a hilarious (and vulgar) rap satire. Here’s the link if you’re curious “Cocaine Crazy” . Anyway, the point is I killed this lady with kindness and she actually thanked me for my responses after she opened the conversation in a not so positive manner.

I could go on and on with my reflections but I’m rather curious about what you think! What does this remind you of? How do you choose to handle situations like this? I have a lot of thoughts about how this ties into social media itself as well but would love to have your comments.

I keep hearing these words in my head these days, “Let the Haters Hate” and, “If They’re Hatin’, You Know You’re Doing Something Right”

Catch you on the Airwaves~

Avram

http://tinabeal.blogspot.com Tina Beal

Anram, you are perfectly right to let that conversation be. Some people deflect their negative thoughts on others to disturb the light within us because they are not of the light and want the world around them to be like they are. When you banish such negativity you reinforce the light! Keep it up
http://grynn.com John Harris

Such awareness! It was truly a blessing to experience both your vids and the opportunities for reflection resulting from your conversation with your “Sender”. This reflection highlights a few items in my personal beliefs:

Individuals of higher awareness can always understand individuals of lower awareness, but lower levels of awareness have not done the work that equips them to understand higher levels of awareness.
Love is the most powerful movement on our planet that the human condition can experience and offer.
Hate and fear is an absence of this Love.
No one can change another, but through our modeling of Love, we can reveal to them a better way.
Our ego based emotions can serve us, if we are aware enough to look deeper into what triggered them.
Pain arises as a result of in-healed past events that are resurfacing to be healed.
That which our mind focuses on, expands and becomes a greater influence in our life.

The “Sender” is deeply seated in their personal belief that age results in wisdom. I do not agree. Wisdom is not merely a result of collected experiences, but a result of our awareness and reactions to those experiences. I believe that one who reacts in pain, is reflecting a current level of pain at their present position on their path. None of us can know the complete picture of where this person is coming from. What experiences have they allowed in their life to put them at such a place. But each and every one of us has the capacity to respond in passion, and in love. In such situations as you experienced with the “Sender”, if we choose to focus on Love, then Love will expand in our lives. If we choose to focus on that persons present state of unconsciousness, then only that will expand in our lives. I chose Love.

The Tao verse above speaks to this in:
“For every force there is a counter-force.
Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself”

What this verse does not mention is that Love rebounds upon itself too. For millennium, the human condition has understood that what you put forth, you receive upon yourself, multiplied. Today, it is often called the Golden Rule – What goes around, comes around.

I believe we are ALL expressions of the same creative force. I personally believe in a higher presence, and though that presence goes by many names, The Creator, The Light, YHWH, Allah, The All Knowing, The Indescribable, The Unknowable, and the list goes on, I chose to use the name, God. And I honor all paths towards that Greater Presence. And I honor all persons for where they are on their personal path. It is not our place to judge that a person is “not of the light”. They are simply at a different place than we are. If the Great Builder of the Universe, does exist, then we are all of that creation. To me, anything created by the Great One, is sacred. Yes, everything is sacred, even all humans. Regardless of the pain they have yet to heal. If we are of the Light, it is our privileged and our karmic responsibility to make it possible for them to heal. We cannot MAKE them heal, but we can make is safe for them to find their own healing. And we can stand by them as they find their way. Judging them in any way creates limitations in our own lives. Judgment comes from ego, not from higher consciousness.

The Greek Philosopher, Epictitus wrote:
“Men are not disturbed by a situation, but by their opinion of a situation. ”

I fully agree with this old sage. I see opinions to be a mind created conclusion resulting from the comparison of past patterns of experience. And since the ego has a false need to be right, once an opinion is formed, changing that opinion can be a very intense process, even for the person who holds that opinion.

You asked these two questions:
What does this remind you of? How do you choose to handle situations like this?

This reminds me of a person caught up completely in the human condition. Many of us will go through our entire lives, thinking like a four year old. If I can’t get it my way, I’ll stick out my tongue and call you a bad name.

I chose to handle similar situations by first becoming conscious of my breath, and as I exhale, I focus on my heart. This habit has allowed me to get out of my ego and respond with compassion. If this person is acting out of pain or fear, they have denied some opportunity for healing. I can’t imagine a parent yelling at a child because they came down with a physical ailment that needs to heal. Why should we be upset at someone who has an emotional or psychological condition to heal? Out of compassion, I often just let them rant. Many people in this state of condition, just need a good listening too. Often we can heal our error thoughts, simply by expressing them. Getting them out in the open where we can shed some light on them and see them for what they are. But only if we are ready to heal. By reaching out to them empathetically we allow them to be who they are right now and we do not get ourselves caught up in their muck. If we attempt to by sympathetic, which is to say that we put ourselves in their shoes, we open ourselves to take on that very condition we are finding distasteful. Remember that to sympathize means to vibrate or resonate in harmony with another stronger vibrating force. So I see it as OK to UNDERSTAND where they are coming from, but I chose not to BECOME where they are coming from.

Withing the context of the above, I invite you to completely forgive this, see it for what it is, honor the lessons it has brought to each of us who have experienced and will experience this blog posting and release it. Dwelling upon it will serve to expand it in your life, and perhaps create pathways to see more of it later. Stay focused as your already are, on Love. You are very aware, and awake. I know in my heart that you already carry great insights. Please continue to share them with the world. You are already making a difference. Let’s all work together to co-create a world that works for all!

Blessings

John
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=1794789406
Hyrum

Avram, you remember what happened to me about a month ago? that you were could up on the middle of it. Well I dont let stupid people influence me in any way shape or form, if anything I let that negative energy make me stronger. If you werent worth hating then people would even bother, but since you are worth hating on them idiots will do it. By worth hating I mean you are doing your thing and have a lot of attention doing so. I can assure you that someone who is having success in there life and is where they want to be at wont even have time to hate on others. So when a idiot hates on you that should tell you a little something about how miserable they really are deep down inside. Perhaps a hardship of some sort, be it financial or emotional as in a divorce, so in this case they are just acting out there pain in hating on your and finding faults in others. You shouldnt “get offended” or let others control your emotions, just let it be and let it make you stronger than before. : )
Louisa

What I feel to tell here is that as the toltèques accordances (accords toltèques in french) by Don Miguel Ruiz, each person is always talking from his or her point of view, it might effectively be that this person was sincerly touched by this video in a negative manner because it wasn’t going with his sheme of life or Vision of the way things must or should be, everything is fine for you if you feel fine and right with what you’re doing, an hypothesis is that this person was talking about his own fear of this situation where someone could meet someone who could be “dangerous” or anything meaning some of his own feelings about this behaving, beside of this, there is also others wich will receive this inspiraction as a great invitation to open their mind and let flow the energy that can be create by a new link between some soals that share a fluent connection, so I would say that as possible, we should never take personaly eather negative nor positive feedback as eachone is saying the own world of the human being giving it, so you can welcome it and be thankful for that new experience even if it might be hard to handle….. as it permit you to continue to grow insight, finally, the most important is to do what you think is good in your conciousness, and continue on your road of opening, experimenting and going always further…..
http://www.trumpnetwork.com/carriekla Carolyn Klakowicz

Avram,

“LIVE A LITTLE BIT?????” Really??? Really??

I must admit, i could feel my blood pressure rising after reading that line. If that person would have taken the time, like so many of us have, even myself, although I have only known you such a short time, this person would have realized that you have lived more life in the last few months than most will in lifetimes.

People are bitter, its sad.

You are wise to stay so calm and collected and turn this experince into a positive one.

We all love ya man!!! Keep those videos comin!
George

Haha….what are you Avram? A 13 year-old girl hanging around sketchy chatroomst?!? NO!!! I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that no harm will be done to you from meeting a legitimate person through facebook. Sure, there’s a very slight amount of inherent risk, but you have background information on the person and you genuinely know they have common interests and a mutual friend to verify that person. Perhaps you should have put out a message precautioning people before they connect with someone via social media: get background on who you are meeting, have a mutual connection that can verify their legitimacy, and don’t go into naughty chat rooms with predators!
Good response though, you handled that well!
angie

Avram,
i’ve been thinking about this since i left your place.. i believe in what you are doing here. i’ve only known you (in this life) for about a week and YOU have inspired me, and countless others, in so many beautiful ways. like by lending a much needed ear and sharing a laugh, many laughs actually you are a positive, loving person and truly see the best in people.
some love and light for you haha have a beautiful and sunshine-y day.
namaste, my friend
ang
http://www.IWannaGiveNow.com David Slocombe

Avram I have been in a similar situation for about a month now. Unfortunately it has affected a great majority of my social circle. I believe I have hurt people by not being totally upfront and honest. It is ironic because I always believe in being upfront in honest.

Anyway I started out by listening to their pain and trying to act with integrity. However they kept going. Now they are monitoring my facebook page and blog. Can you tell I haven’t written very much lately. Anyway I got caught up in their anger and I let their anger affect me physically. I know I am responsible for all of my actions. I am not blaming just sharing my info.

I realize that by reacting I am just feeding the fire. But for a while it felt impossible to stop.

However like everything in life there is always opportunity. This experience has shed light on who are true friends. As well and more importantly has created a much more stronger and loving bond with my family, especially my wife. And made me realize that my actions speak louder then any words can.

I love the Tao Te Ching and Wayne Dyer’s interpretation of this masterpiece. I am grateful for the Universe for inspiring you to share this message at the right time for me. I am also grateful for the lessons learned and will keep on sharing light and love into every situation.

Thanks as always.

Learning…Enjoying…Sharing
http://www.avramgonzales.com Avram

First, thank you for the brilliant and very rich commentary – each and every one of you!

To all: You best believe this has become water under the bridge for me. I am grateful for InspirACTION because of a couple of reasons.

1. I would have never gotten the message from our infamous sender.
2. I would still be considering this a negative situation, and never created this post.
3. I wouldn’t be able to learn from everyone that’s posted their response and perception/ take on the matter.
4. Finally, it’s been absolutely spun into a positive that I can’t help to jump for joy about! Yesterday we had over 250 visitors to the site because of this post. Thats over 100 MORE than the old record of 157 a couple weeks ago. Certainly have nothing to complain about

There is so much great content posted above – I hope that everyone takes the time to read through everything here because there are some great insights.

David – You make an interesting comment about true friends. I had a very similar experience when I first started this blog. As a matter of fact, many of the people I thought were my true friends I have not talked to since its conception. These were guys I remember making mention that “I’m gonna have a hard time choosing who’s gonna be my best man!” – My how things change! I think of the difference of terms in small people and big people. Small people will never see the brilliance in what you’re doing, and it can really hurt when those people are your close friends or family!

Shoot! Class is over I have to jet! I’m going to write the second half of my comment in the next few hours!
http://www.avramgonzales.com Avram

Time to finish this thought, I was on a roll till class got out early!

Louisa – “each person is always talking from his or her point of view, it might effectively be that this person was sincerly touched by this video in a negative manner because it wasn’t going with his sheme of life or Vision of the way things must or should be” – I think this is important to recognize, because as a few other people stated here in different ways, we never know the context of what is going on or has happened in someone’s life. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was actually the first personal development book I ever read. Great stuff!

Hyrum – How could I ever forget?? Man, what a crazy thread that was! I also did my best to hold my tongue that day and felt a little backlash from not doing so. Lessons learned I really liked how you said “I can assure you that someone who is having success in there life and is where they want to be at wont even have time to hate on others.” I totally resonate with this because one of my pledges to myself is to spend so much time on improving myself that I have no time to criticize others. Well put my friend!

John – Man, what can I say??? I’m in love with everything you wrote, I have read it several times and can’t wait to meet you. Going to have to take you up on the coffee offer pretty soon methinks Thank you soooo much for stopping by and putting in the time to create something that has added so much content to this post.

InspirACTION

“Let the Haters Hate”

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