Life can get pretty personal, after all it is YOUR life how could it not be? But its very interesting to observe the way we interpret different events and situations. As a matter of fact, you might know some people that have gone through similar or even the same exact experiences and felt completely different about them.
Which brings me to a story about two sisters, Ally and Becca. When they were young, their step-father abused them in the most horrific ways that you can imagine. It went beyond physical and emotional abuse we’ll just leave it at that. So both of these girls grew up living with the same fear and finally went to college and got away. They graduated and moved on with their lives.
One of the sisters is very successful and motivated. When you ask her what her experience was like when she was young her response was something like, “Things were rough back then but it gave me all the strength and motivation to become what I am today.”
The other sister has a family, and is living a normal life but struggles with her self-confidence and personal image. When asked about her experience growing up this was her response, “It was awful, my step-father ruined every opportunity I had. I hate that scumbag.”
You can see that the responses are polar opposites. These girls lived through the same experience but if you didn’t know both stories you’d have a dramatically different impression of the situation.
This is why, “Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give to it.”
The meaning and symbols that we place on people or events greatly influence the way that we view them and the way that we let them affect us.
For instance, a couple months ago a close friend of my family, our next door neighbor Mr. Pete, passed away. He touched a lot of lives and everyone was stricken with grief. All sorts of things got shaken up in the process. I think it would be very easy to consider this time pretty terrible.
Well, what I saw was something quite incredible! After the service, everyone gathered at his home for the life celebration and for me thats where all the memories lie. We danced, sang, and ate all afternoon and into the evening. What I witnessed was the bonding of individuals and the forging of new friendships. Such life had erupted from such a sad event.
This story often reminds me of the quote from Hamlet by William Shakespeare, “There is no good or bad, only thinking makes it so.”
So, while his passing was difficult for everyone that knew him, it is not a good enough reason to consider this a “tragic” or “horrible” event. This is life! We have every opportunity to embrace the amazing things that come from the passing of someone with so much zeal and zest for life itself.
May we make the best of every situation and hold it under the best light. For to focus on the flaws would call them readily into existence, where searching patiently coaxes beauty to unfold in every imaginable space.
