Conversations
Another double feature wrapping Tuesday’s activity into Written Wednesday. The inspiration came from Ben Dixon’s Meaningful Minute on Conversations.
I started a conversation with my classmates at an end of the year BBQ and kind of surprised myself! I made 4 distinctive declarations:
- I’m not doing summer school because I want to enjoy my summer.
- I no longer working full time in the family business, I will only be available part-time.
- I am not taking on any summer internships.
- I am working for myself and for nobody else. I am no longer employable!
Like Ben said, conversations get the ball rolling. They begin to give us greater faith in an idea and help us form beliefs about it. Beliefs structure our reality and determine how things are going to play out. It all starts with our conversations so that tends to be the greatest influence on where you’re bound to end up.
Written Wednesday:
I like to think of the conversations that we have either with ourselves or others in two ways: empowering, or self-sabotaging.
Empowering Conversations:
“I can always make more money” – Yes, you can certainly make more money. People get really hung up on how much money they’re making but talk to anybody who has a lot of money and they’re not really “worried” about money. Sure, the have major expenses just like we do, but they don’t fret about paying out because lets face it – they can always make more money.
“How are you?” – “Fantastic!” – What’s your typical response when people ask you how you’re doing? Are you really JUST okay? “OK” allows us to be just, okay. When we’re fantastic, great, fabulous etc., then we are opening ourselves to receiving more greatness instead of just more “OK-ness”
Self-Sabotaging Conversations
“They’re out to get me” or “Me against the world” – Its easy to start playing the blame game and say that because of this reason or that reason things aren’t panning out. The truth is, by blaming other people we’re just projecting and externalizing our issues. Watch how control shifts and events play out differently when you stop blaming the world for your problems, make them your own, and take action to solve them. Of course you’re going to find examples of people “out to get you,” if that’s what you’re accustomed to believing.
“When I…” – Recognizing this pattern is difficult, and even more difficult to correct the language around it. For a lot of people this sounds like, “when I’m rich, then …fill in the blank.” It seems pretty harmless but take a look at what sort of boundaries are being created by this statement. You’re basically telling yourself, because I’m not rich, then I can’t be whatever. We need to stop putting requirements on our happiness. Some of the wealthiest people in the world have very little actual money.
These are just some examples that came off the top of my head. Do you notice yourself or friends engaging in conversations with you or others that you’ve observed manifest? And what do those conversations look like?
