Written Wednesday – The Key to Listening
“Listen up!”
The SECOND you read that title there were some of you that actually stopped “listening” and started talking. It might have even happened in your head and it probably sounded something like “I’ve heard this before,” “I know this already,” or maybe even “I’m already a great listener.” This post is specifically for you.
What really makes a great listener?
A. Great listeners know that they can become better listeners
B. Great listeners never ruin the opportunity to learn more
No matter how good of a listener you are, you can always become better. I think for some of us this is correlated with how good of receivers we are. The more open we are to accepting the ideas of others the more we can learn and grow because of them. I am soooo guilty of using these three awful words in one form or another, “I know that.”
As promised in the video, I want to tell you why I think giving advice is often a waste of time.
This thought stems from the many conversations I’ve had with individuals coming to me looking for advice – I’m sure you can relate! In these instances whether it has to do with someone’s personal situation, relationship with others and even business sometimes I always have something to say.
These days I usually don’t say it. People need to really ask for it or I need to * feel * that they are asking for it before I start talking and there’s a couple of reasons for this:
Most people just need to hear themselves talk
In this case I’m referring more towards the need for people to explore and digest their situation completely. Having another person there to take them through and let them say things out loud helps a person process at a greater level.
They have all the information
No matter what, the person seeking advice has better information than anyone else. Regardless of the objective circumstance, we’re no stranger to perception being reality. It is this person’s story and it is 100% true because that is their experience. It doesn’t matter how much they share with you, you’re not going to “get it all” because you never had their experience. My point is, the advice you give is only as good as the information you get. The person seeking advice is actually the person in the best position to analyze the situation and make the best decision.
Now hear me out. I’m not saying all is lost and that you should stop giving your friends advice, because it DOES help! Consider this, whatever you add to the conversation and ho
w you interpret a situation could be news to them. You can only help to open their eyes; you cannot bring them to a decision not meant for their own.
My two cents? Still listening? Its free actually I’m not going to make you pay 
Be Present. Be Involved. You want to know the best way to communicate with someone looking for advice? Use body language that shows you’re interested and involved. Let them talk through it.
I never know what to say. Seriously, I’m not kidding! I usually don’t talk. But everyone says I give the best advice.
Why? Because I listen, and I help people to find their own destinations by offering a little light.
Alright! Now anyone STILL listening – here’s YOUR chance to get involved so that I know YOUR listening!
Send me a link to your favorite jams and beats off of Youtube on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube – where ever! I’m going to pick my favorite of all your entries and dance to it on YOUR honor when I accept my 1,000th friend request this year!
Thank you! Happy Dancing!
